Nothing to report, hence the lapse in posting. Life is pretty much, work, school, lesson planning, and homework. I've big projects due every week starting Monday and ending December 7th. I've not started on any of them, so life will be insane (even more then normal) the next month.

However, there will be some frivolity. This weekend our very good friend Spyder will be coming to visit us from NEW YORK CITY. Needless to say we're excited and will be doing geeky things like playing video games, talking comic books, and playing Cthulhu themed board games. Yes, I'm a nerd and am proud of it.

Last November our very good friend SG was in the process of moving to California. She asked us if we would be willing to adopt her cat Ginger. We, being pet lovers and missing having them in our lives, said yes. For as long as I've known SG Ginger was her pet. So it wasn't like we were getting a cat whose disposition I didn't know.

In February, we adopted Lady Gray, aka Little G or Monkey. Around that time Ginger started to seem a bit off. We thought it was depression and that she was having a difficult time adjusting to Lady Gray's kitten personality. But it didn't go away. At the end of August we became quite worried when her eating and weight had significantly decreased. We took her to the vet, they suggested a very expensive test that they couldn't perform. We went to another vet and said that test wouldn't really prove anything. So they ran blood work. Before the results of the blood work up came back the vet suspected it could be pancreatitis (inflammation of the pancreas) and should subside on it's own. Unfortunately, it wasn't.

Ginger had pancreatic cancer.

Due to the nature of pancreatic cancer the only treatment available is palliative care. Since the end of August Ginger's been on anti-nausea and appetite stimulant pills. While she wasn't gaining weight, she didn't seem to be losing any, and she was able to keep her food down.

These past couple months have been an emotional roller coaster; deep down knowing that she wouldn't get better, but being given signs that she might were difficult to deal with.

This past Sunday it became clear that the end was closer than Niels or I wanted: her back legs began giving her issues, she was having difficulty using the litter box and couldn't hold her head up enough to drink water out of her bowl without getting her neck all wet. We didn't want to overreact, on Monday Niels called to make the "appointment" which gave us time in case we were wrong.

Unfortunately we weren't.

Today we took Ginger in and prior to the procedure the vet did an exam and her cancerous growth had grown to a size where you could feel it. We talked about options (Ginger could be placed on steroids) but after talking about the issues she's been having the vet agreed with us that it was Ginger's time to go.

Was besieged by a cold earlier this week that had me in bed for two days. I'm still not 100% and am finding it difficult to focus on most anything. I swear my ADD gets worse when I'm sick. Squirrel! It's awful. I've a ton of work I need to do for school school and work school, but am having a difficult time sitting still long enough to make any progress.

Today's weather isn't helping the situation, it looks and feels like a fall day in Germany. Normally I love days like this, but it's just adding on to my lethargy. And had I not had to take Ginger to the vet (she had to get her butt squeezed, gross I know) I don't think I would have gotten out of my pajamas today. I would love to snuggle under a blanket and watch bad TV for most of the afternoon

Wish I had more to report, but there are only so many ways I can say "I've a cold, and spend most of the week sleeping."

Hope things in your world are more exciting.

Once again I apologize for the light posting. I'm not even sure the five readers I had are even stopping by anymore. If you are YAY!!!

I know I sound like a broken record but things have been really busy, and we're dealing with some stresses, my student teaching placement, Niels' summer job situation, Ginger and other things that I'm not ready to share yet.

The latest update on my student teaching is that I had to resubmit my paperwork and request an afternoon placement. If that doesn't work, there are a couple classes I'll still be able to take. But once I complete those I may have to put my degree on hold until something can be figured out. As the sole wage earner we can't afford me taking a leave of absence from my job to complete my degree. So keep your fingers crossed that the afternoon placement works out. I'll hopefully find out in four to six weeks.

Niels has yet to hear back from any of the firms he had call backs with and it's been frustrating (that's my new word of the day) not knowing what's going on. It's hard being a law student and lawyer at this moment, but hopefully things will improve in the next year or so.

Ginger. Poor Ginger. She's breaking my heart. She's not really eaten the past few days, and if she does she only throws it up an hour or so later. Her appetite stimulant's been changed to something stronger and more frequent, but so far it hasn't haven't done much. If our scale's right she's down to about six pounds. Niels and I have decided that if the lack of eating continues we're going to have to talk with the vet at the end of the week. It's getting to the point where I can't talk about her without tearing up. 

I've been a wreck, and am grateful that I'm on the meds I am because I think I'd be in worse shape if I weren't. I wish I could take a holiday, I've not had one since.... well in over a year, and I really could use one right about now. Instead I think I'll have to settle for a nap.

I love my new job. Love, love, love. I hate waking up at oh god thirty, and sometimes get stuck trying to be creative when coming up with lessons. But I'm so happy to be teaching. I feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be.

So I guess the Universe decided that I was too happy, because I've been informed that the school I teach at doesn't qualify for my student teaching. Even though it's a charter school. And that it follows DC Charter School rules. And is governed by the Charter School Board. Did I mention it's a CHARTER SCHOOL. It just happens to be a charter school that caters to the adult learner. Because of this, I cannot use it as my place of student teaching for spring.

Needless to say I'm unbelievably pissed off by this. Yes I teach adults, but I'm applying EVERYTHING I've learned in my program to my work. There is a very fine line between adult education and secondary education, by my grad program has decided that it's not.

I admit that I'm partially at fault for this. I should have asked my advisor prior to accepting the job if it would create any issues in the future. But because it's a charter school I honestly didn't think there would be any issues.

I was wrong.

There's a part of me that's still holding out hope that they'll say it's OK and sign off on the paperwork, but after being told from a classmate that her paperwork was rejected as well, I'm not sure how hopeful to be.

Once I get the official word (right now it's been a stream of emails back and forth) I am going to have to weigh my options. I can tell you right now that leaving a job I love is not one of them.

Things are pretty crazy, so I've not had much time for posting.

It turns out we were wrong about Ginger 's pancreatitis, and does indeed have pancreatic cancer. She's is on some anti-nausea and appetite stimulant to help her quality of life. Since being on them her disposition has improved dramatically, but we're not sure how long it'll last. The vet is guessing Ginger has about two more months, but I'm not so sure. :( We're taking it one day at a time. Needless to say we've been taking lots of photos of her.

Niels took this one this morning:

It's been a busy week with the start of the new semester, teaching and the Ginger situation.

Most of the week was spent on pre-testing to ensure students have been placed in the proper level as well as to see what skill set needs to be worked on.  I did my first lesson today and 2.75 hours goes REALLY fast!!! I didn't get to all of what I had planned. And to think I hadn't planned enough!!

Ginger doesn't have cancer, but does have a severe case of pancreatitis. The only thing that can be done is for her to be on supportive care, which is pretty much just pain meds, and she's been on them for about a week. The vet is concerned that her condition may be fatal, but we're going to continue with the supportive care for another 10 days, and has a follow up on the 16th, where we'll decide what to do next.

I think the two classes I'm taking will be good, but they will be a lot of work.

I know this is kind of disjointed, but my brain is fried and I'm tired.

For the most part, I consider myself an optimist, I really try to think that things will work out for the best. Except... when it comes to anything pertaining to medical tests, then I automatically assume the worst.

Niels & I took Big G to the vet on Saturday, she's lost 2 pounds (which for a nine pound cat is a lot) over the past few months and has been throwing up, with an increasing frequency. Our vet (who's awesome) gave her a physical, but couldn't find anything, so recommended a set of blood tests, of which the results would come in today.

Well, the vet called this morning and I could tell from her tone of voice that things weren't good. Ginger's pancreatic levels are elevated and it could mean one of two things, Big G has pancreatitis (inflammation of the pancreas, which is treatable) or she could have a tumor. The vet recommended an ultrasound (which would have to be done at another clinic) to be sure. 

Where does my brain latch on to? Tumor. Not that Big G could be totally fine with some treatment, but that she's got cancer and is on her way out. What is wrong with me? Why do I always assume the worst? Was it the vet's tone of voice? Not sure, but either way, Niels & I are going to have to talk about our options, and take it from there.

Just got home a little while ago from the first day at the new job. It was a bit confusing due to the fact that I wasn't able to go to orientation last week, but I was paired up with a veteran teacher and she was super awesome and helpful.

Mainly this week is registration and placement testing. I didn't do any testing today, but observed a few interactions. I imagine tomorrow I'll be doing some testing. At the end of the week I'll be working the registration table.

I was blown away how many people showed up for registration today, considering it runs all week, even more so since being able to attend isn't guaranteed, but a lottery system. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but understand why it's done, the demand is so much higher than the number of students that can be served. 

One of the many things that could be improved in the American educational system is the access to education for adult learners, especially in the immigrant community. The number of people who came today for a chance to win the lottery and take ESL classes was overwhelming, and while I was excited at the turn out I was a little depressed knowing how the hopes of so many would be dashed when they learn they won't be able to take classes this semester.

Have lots to say about the awesome trip to NYC but it will be for another day because I'm distracted by the report on the News Hour.

To those random readers that find me via search engines. Medicaid and Medicare are government run programs. Don't let certain members of the GOP fool you. 

To those of you who are trying to convince people otherwise, go suck it.

When Niels and I came back from China, I went back to work at the Department. It was comforting to go back to something so familiar while transitioning back to living in the U.S. and going back to school.

Today, after almost eleven years (off and on) of employment I submitted my resignation.

It was a strange sensation, it's not the first time I've quit. But this time there was more of a finality to it that I didn't have when I left for China. There was always the chance that I could go back if I wanted.

But not this time.

I was offered, and accepted, a teaching position at a local charter school. It's fifteen hours a week for the 2009/2010 school year.

I can't express the excitement I have for this job. I got such a good vibe from the school when I went for my interview. Everyone was very warm and welcoming, and seemed to really like working there. I thought the interview went quite well, but I didn't want to get my hopes too high in case it fell through.

It's a part-time position so I'll be sharing a classroom, but I'll still be able to decorate it, post students' work on the walls, and make it a safe learning environment.

There will be different challenges to teaching stateside versus teaching in China, but I'm ready to face them head on. I look forward to beginning the newest chapter in my life.

Ugh. Last night I had one of the worst night's sleep in recent memory, and I've been sleeping for crap the past couple weeks. I had three anxiety dreams wrapped up in one, which made it all the more difficult to deal with because it was so life like.

I dreamt that my old boss, was still really mad at me and was doing all he could to get me fired. One of the things he did was remove the walls from my cubicle which would allow everyone to see what I was working on. He also told those around me to tell him if I wasn't doing my job. At one point he cornered me and told me that he wanted me gone by February, and if that couldn't happen he would post my job and if he found someone more suitable I'd be let go.

On top of that, I had just found out I was pregnant with twins (this is not the first dream I've had where I'm pregnant with twins). While my friends were all excited for me, upon telling my family, their reaction was "Are you sure having kids is a good idea?"

The last intermingled this was that I found out a job I had interviewed for, in my dream, that I really wanted went to someone else. I was completely crushed because I thought the interview went really well and had a good feeling about it.

What the hell, man!? What. The. Hell.

Who has issues? No, not me!!

Oh Hai! Sorry I've not been around. The summer session is kicking my arse, and I've barely my head above water. So why am I blogging? Because when I'm stressed and overwhelmed I go into a state of deep procrastination.

I've Praxis I tomorrow morning, for which I'm not prepared whatsoever. I totally forgot I had registered for it until last week. And with all the schoolwork I had to do for this week very little last minute studying got done.

Next week, in addition to the reading I've to do for class, I've a midterm for Quantitative Research Methods and a grammar quiz in Linguistics that I have to take as part of my program.

I had a QRM quiz last week, and I bombed it, as in nearly failed, so I have to do really, really well on the midterm to make up for the horrid quiz grade. I didn't think I did as badly on the quiz as I did, so it was a bit of a shock.

And as for the grammar quiz, I'm up a creek. I've no clue what the terminology of anything is, and if I don't pass the quiz on Thursday I'm not sure what that means for my program.

So, I'm feeling a bit stresed and on the verge of having a freak out. Which would be bad. Instead I'm going to go back to reading for Linguisitics and try to remain calm(ish).

When I came back to the States my job situation was such that I had to get health insurance through Student Health because it was unclear when, or if, I would ever gain permanent status.

In April, when my status finally changed I was unable to afford the monthly cost, so continued with my student health plan, even though it is sub-par. About a month ago, I began looking into alternative health insurance options with the expiration of my student health on the near horizon.

I went online, god love the Internet, and applied for a plan, through Aetna, that was affordable and had almost everything I wanted. It wasn't the best plan, but one that would fit my needs until I can get a teaching job and insurance through my school.

About a day after applying I received an email saying that I had been denied, and couldn't figure out why. But an insurance representative was going to contact me and discuss why and further options.

Well, the representative never called. Instead I got an email telling me that because my BMI is too high (read: you're fat) and suffering from depression such that requires me to take anti-depressants they cannot offer me a plan.

So, because I'm trying to improve my health (eating better and taking care of my mental health) you're denying me? Seriously?

Hey Aetna. You suck.

Not much to say today, other than I'm tired. So here's a very recent photo of Little G.