It is 3:44am and I am still awake.

I have to be up in 3 hours 29 minutes.

I would like to sleep, but I don't think it's going to happen.

I'm never ever going to take a caffeine pills ever again.

*sigh*

When I decided to knit Carolyn, from the most recent issue of Knitty, I could not help but to hum the Lowest of the Low song.

Even after the disappointment with the Grecian Plait (I almost typed 'urn') sweater, I'm on a sweater kick. Which completely surprises me, because after my Monster Sweater from a couple years back I swore them off from my knitting repertoire. The Monster Sweater was so huge that it was big on my friend M.T. who's 6'7". But I know what I did wrong with Grecian Plait, I thought my bust was smaller than it really is. Whoops. No wonder Greacian Plait didn't fit.

I've had to adjust Carolyn a little bit because the yarn I have, a nice blue and pale orange (even though the photo makes it look golden yellow), which I think is very retro and fun, is slightly thinner than what the pattern calls for. Hopefully it'll all work out, otherwise it'll make someone a really nice gift.

I spent the past two weeks working on this pattern from the Knitty Spring 2003 pattern. It's wicked easy and goes really, really fast. The further I got into it the more I became excited for it to be finished.

Yesterday I spent the afternoon seaming it up and blocking it. This afternoon I tried it on, and it doesn't fit. I did everything I was supposed to do. I did a gauge swatch. While knitting I checked my gauge so often Niels got worried that I was checking it too often. I was anal about following the pattern.

But when it comes down to it, I'm not surprised it doesn't fit. When I tried it on before blocking it, it was snug, but I had hoped that afterwards, I was hoping it would fit. But I was wrong.

First rule of China: Don’t get sick.
Second rule of China: See the first rule

Since coming to China I’ve broken these rules, which Niels and I established before leaving, pretty much every six weeks. It’s not hard to understand why I get sick so often, the air quality is horrible, I have 1200 students that don’t know how to cover their mouths when they cough or sneeze, the school washrooms don’t supply soap (I carry hand sanitizer with me where ever I go), I could go on, but you get the picture.

When we were in Yichang at the beginning of February, someday I’ll write about our experience there, I caught something that just wouldn’t leave. I thought it was just a nasty head cold, but then it moved to my chest and turned into a wicked cough that just last week was starting to subside. I thought I was finally getting better but then my ribs began hurting; I thought I had pulled something while lifting weights but when it started getting worse and not better I decided I better ask the school to arrange for me to have a visit to the hospital.

Going to the hospital here is quite an experience When you need to go to the doctor here, you don’t go to see a GP or go to the doctor’s office, but go to the hospital. Everything’s centralized, well as centralized as things can be for China. One area of the hospital is the actual hospital and the other area is the health clinic.

The clinic’s rooms are divided to what area of the body is being affected. So because my chest was bothering me, I went to the “Respiratory Room”. There I met with a doctor (the school sent along one of the better speaking English teachers to be my translator), and she listened to my lungs. While sitting there having my lungs listened to I had an audience, there were about six other people in the room with me, watching my interaction with the doctor intently. I think I was the best entertainment they’ve had in a long time. HIPPA? What’s HIPPA?  

So after I had my lungs listened to I was shuffled off to the X-ray Department for a chest x-ray. Once the film was developed I was given the x-ray and shuffled back to the “Respiratory Room” and the doctor informed me that I have bronchitis, which didn’t surprise me. She sent me on my way with a prescription and my x-ray. Because I am not, nor will ever be, a regular patient the hospital didn’t create medical records for me. 

I wish I had brought my camera with me, because while waiting to see the doctor I saw something so typical China. In the exam room there was a sink, and above it was a very detailed drawing of how to correctly wash your hands. Unfortunately, the soap dispenser was empty and there weren’t any paper towels to be seen. Instead there was a lone dirty towel draped over the faucet for the doctor to dry her hands. I pray I never have something major happen because their idea of something being sanitary, is, well pretty awful.

China is getting stronger, and more modern, but some of that strength and modernity really needs to be concentrated on their health care system.

Since the semester started this past Monday it is becoming increasingly more difficult to update my blog. The Internet is working surprisingly well, touch wood, but I think the firewall against blogs has been reinforced. Needless to say this is pretty frustrating for me. I’m trying my best to work around it but so far it’s been a tough go. I’m now attempting to publish through Google Docs & Spreadsheets, and I’m not sure how well it will work or how long it will work.

Before leaving for China I decided to make my Dad a pair of socks for his birthday, in November, but due to the time constraints that accompany a trans-Pacific move I didn’t have the chance to start them. Once we arrived it took me a while to get the knitting groove back as I was acclimating to a new environment. October came around and I thought to myself a month would be enough time to start and finish them. They’d be a bit late, but Dad would appreciate a gift a week or so late.

I’m sure you can see where this is going.

It’s now March and on Wednesday did I just finish this, the first sock.

At the rate I’m going they’ll be finished for his next birthday. What’s not helping is that I’m completely hooked on the Grecian Plait sweater pattern from Knitty (which I can't link to because Knitty's blocked and anonymouse isn't working right now). I know it’s a sweater, I’ve had the urge to expand my repertoire and am making another attempt at sweaters.

I just realized that today is the two year anniversary of the current manifestation of the  FigCookies.

Two years ago today I posted my first entry here after becoming disgruntled with Blogger. Next month will be my four year anniversary of blogging. It's strange to think I've been "out there" for that long.

Now where's the cake...

Since coming to China, many people I’ve met have told me that I’m a nice person and go out of my way to help students and teachers who come to me for help. When I’ve been complimented this way, I always tell the person that I can be mean also, and for whatever reason I am not believed. In addition to sometimes, often, being mean, I’m stubborn and pigheaded.

Do I hide it well? (Maybe.)

Am I rarely that mean? (I hope not.)

When I lived in D.C. I had a serious love/hate relationship with it. I love being in the center of the political scene, but I wasn’t happy with how cynical and bitter I was becoming. I was also turning into not a very nice person but I didn’t know what to do to change the things I didn’t like about myself. .

So when it came time to leave for China, while scared as hell, I was excited for the clean start. I’d be going to a place where no one would know me; I wouldn’t have to hear people ask if I was related to so and so like I did when I lived in Buffalo. It was a new beginning.

I was so unprepared for the emotional upheaval my life would have. There have been quite a few days where I tried my best not to keep from crying. I’d tell Niels that maybe he should leave me because I thought I was going crazy and he didn’t deserve to have a nut-job for a girlfriend. Being the guy he is, he would sit patiently with me and ride out the storm.

Being here has given me a lot of time for the much needed personal reflection. When I was in D.C. I found it really hard to really work on my spiritual life, it’s like there is a wall between the spiritual world and this world. I could never seem to get into a groove, or stay in one if I was lucky enough to break the wall down for a short bit. Working only work 20 hours a week, in addition to being out in the sticks of Zhengzhou (yes a city with 8 million people has a area where there’s nothing to do or see) has given me the chance to reconnect with the Earth.

The reconnection has been difficult, not in the actual reconnection with the Earth, but the Earth forcing me to face the things I need to change about myself. Like I’ve said I’m a stubborn person and it’s very hard for me to admit to someone that I’m wrong as well as to apologize. I can hold a grudge like no one I know.

When I first moved to D.C. I was friends with a young woman who at one point I had considered to be my best friend. And we had a horrible falling out. I was, to put it bluntly, a total bitch to her, we had a horrible fight and our friendship ended. A year or so later I ran into her on the street and couldn’t bring myself to apologize. I didn’t think I was wrong, at all. I totally blamed her for what happened, refusing to accept my part in what had happened. After that encounter I never saw her again.

A couple months ago I began to have recurring dreams about her. I would be shopping for my wedding dress and I would run into her…unfortunately that’s all I can ever remember from the dreams. I’m one of those people who believe in dream symbolism and I knew that they wouldn’t stop until I apologized to her.

After much digging and eventual help from a friend of hers, I managed to track down her email and sent off a long overdue apology to her the other day. I became nervous wondering if she’d respond, and what her response would be. I was preparing myself for the worst. But when I received a response it was one of the most gracious emails I’ve ever received. I was overwhelmed by her kindness. I knew I shouldn’t have been because she really is a kind person. I never gave her enough credit. But had the roles been reversed I don’t know if I would have responded the way she did.

I never really believed that it’s never too late to say you’re sorry about something, and I’m glad I was proved wrong.

Will she and I work on rekindling our friendship? I don’t know the answer to that one yet.

In Zhengzhou there aren't any JoAnn Fabrics or Michael's or shops similar to them stratigically placed throughout the city. There is one big area, roughtly the size of half a city block, that is just known as the "Fabric Market". Today I went to that wonderous place to look for material for my wedding dress as well as for the bridesmaids' dresses & my niece's dress, with my friend Jennifer and her Mom.

Unfortunately, the weather has been pretty bad, it's been raining the past four days, hard to believe I know, so when we arrived most of the shops were still opening their shops. The first shop we went to, more like a stall really, didn't have anything I wanted. What they had was beautiful, just not what I was imagining for my wedding.

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted this shop:



We dodged the rain to get to the shop and I spent a good 45 minutes in it, looking and touching some of the most beautiful fabric I've ever seen. After much deliberation I found everything I was looking for. And the beauty of it, was how cheap it all was. Fabric that would have cost me at least a couple hundred dollars in the States cost me all of $61.00.

Another reason I love China.

Does this really surprise anyone??

U.S. Predicting Steady Increase for Emissions

God, how I can't wait for George Bush to leave office. The Democrats better get their shit together FAST if they want to win the White House '08.