Just a quick post to reassure you all that yes I am still around. It's been a really busy week with the busyness continuing until we leave for Vietnam on Tuesday.

Yes, Tuesday, we were supposed to leave for Beijing on Wednesday with a flight to Ho Chi Minh City on Thursday but we got an email this morning letting us know that our flight on Thursday has been CANCELED. And trying to reschedule has been a mess because Thai Air is telling us we need to call USAirways and have them make the change since we used miles for the flight. And USAirways has told us they can't make the changes because their system can't save the needed changes. Trying to get it all settled has taken up a better part of the day.

We now have to make a third call to Thai Air to see if they can settle this for us. Keep your fingers crossed.

Niels and I struggle to make sure our relationship is as equal as possible. Some days we're more successful than others, but we think we're doing a pretty fine job of it so far. We know there's a lot of outside pressures for him to be the breadwinner and for me to be the primary caregiver of the house and our future children, but it's not what we want. We want our relationship to be a partnerships and even though things have come a long way, when it comes to the house and caring for children they really haven't. So it's refreshing to read articles like this

When Mom and Dad Share It All

and know we're not alone in trying to go against millennia of unbalance and that there are resources out there to give us guidance.

All Things Jennifer tagged me, who was tagged by Erin, who was tagged by Adventures of a Girl on a Road, who started it all.

"Someone should start a blog that will simply show us how many known blogs, in multiples of six, it would take to connect all the blogs in the blogosphere. I suspect she is right - we are all a lot more interconnected than we could imagine.

Here’s how this will work:

I’ve listed out 6 blogs that I visit often. (see below)

Unfortunately I don't have email addresses for Belle or Kate, so it'll be doubtful they'll respond. :(
 
Dan from Otter Ponderings
Witty, insanely creative and insightful, I've always been a little jealous of his talent. I wish he'd post more.

Paul from Froogville
A British ex-pat living in Beijing. Gives the Party the middle finger about as often as I do, but with a higher quality of snark.

Matt from Frak Art
Sarcastic, and geeky, a fantastic combination.

Belledame from Fetch Me My Axe
Fantastic musings on gender. I wish I were more like her.

Kate from Stitching in the Buff
Life, family and knitting. How much better can you get?

Martha from In Bed With a Mosquito
Tender and thoughtful, I wish she'd post more.

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

Last year at this time, Niels & I were in Beijing, he was taking the LSAT and I was treating myself to an ice coffee from Starbucks.

Today we're going to the Crowne Plaza for lunch with the other two foreign teachers for lunch. Then off to our very last English Corner. The big party's on Saturday, if you're in the neighborhood feel free to drop by.

Now I'm off for a cup of birthday tea.

Just thought you'd all like to know I'll be back in America in 37 days.

I've been trying to write a post about some of the essays my students wrote for their final exam and I'm finding it really difficult because more than a handful have dealt with spousal or child abuse.

A couple essays talked about how brave and strong their Mom was because they worked, did all the housework, gave amazing emotional support to them and their siblings. But under all of it their Mom's lived in fear that one day their husband would go too far and not just beat them "badly" but kill her.

One student wrote how her father was on the verge of killing her Mom (with the neighbors watching but not doing much to get him off of her) so she took a steel rod to his head in order to protect her Mom. And you know what the neighbors response was? "You shouldn't have done that. You're a bad daughter." She wrote that agreed with them but was only trying to protect her Mom. I wrote in the margins of her paper that she was not a bad daughter and did the right thing.

Another student wrote about how her uncle beat her legs so badly with a bamboo rod that they bled and she had problems walking all because she didn't do her homework to his standards. This was after her burnt her homework to ash. She went on to say that she understood why he did what he did because he did want her to get spoiled. She was in elementary school at the time.

These essays, and the others like them make me want to tear my hair out. They also make me want to go out find these men and beat the holy living crap out of them.

Spousal and child abuse is still extremely common in China. There are no safety nets for abused women and children. None. Zero. It's seen as a family matter by the state, something not to get involved with. It's also seen as something to be expected. Women are still treated as second class citizens and things are especially bad for women living in the countryside.

I gave an end of semester talk to my students today and one of the things I talked about was self-respect and that no woman should allow herself to be beaten by her boyfriend/husband. If it happens leave, don't care what your parents and neighbors say, because no one deserves it, no one. I then told the young men that if they ever hit their girlfriend or wife I will come to China and beat the crap out of them.

I just hope they heard me.

*The title comes from a common Chinese saying a friend told me.

Really? Intimidation of grieving parents? Telling the press to stop reporting about it? Oh China you make me so sad.

Chinese Police Confront Grieving Parents